A Triumphant Return

The photo above is when I was in the best shape of my life.  It was two years ago and  I had just finished a ten mile run along the Embarcadero in San Francisco.  Since I got pregnant at the beginning of the year, my running and fitness have kind of taken a hiatus.  I did walk quite a bit during my pregnancy, but let's face it, walking isn't the same as running.

It was really difficult for me to accept that I would not be running for awhile.  I would past people jogging on the bike path and I wanted to yell out to them, "I'm a runner too, I just have to walk right now."  I know it made no difference to these people what I was doing, but to me I felt walking made me look as though I was too out of shape to run.  I struggled with this for many months.  Running was a huge part of my life and now that piece was temporarily missing.  Combine that with my expanding waistline and the scale numbers rapidly increasing and you get one sad chick-a-dee!

Every so often I would try a slow jog, but I was never able to go very long.  As I got bigger the baby pushed up on my lungs and the extra weight put too much pressure on my joints.  I slowly watched the muscle definition in my legs turn to cellulite and finally accepted running was not an option until after the baby was born.

Well it's been almost five weeks since Baby J popped out.  I thought I would be running home from the hospital that day.  Once again I was wrong.  Walking to the mailbox was hard enough, but running?  I wasn't even close.  Would I ever be able to run again?  And what would it be like when I was able to return to it?

Yesterday I got my answers.  I went for my first real run in almost a year and it was FANTASTIC!  Now keep in mind it wasn't the get up and go I use to do.  Before heading out the door I had to pump because Jim needed something to feed the baby when he woke up from his nap, and I didn't need to experience running down the road with two engorged boobs.  I also had to put on an extra sports bra for that now needed support.  Despite the minor inconveniences, I was able to run, without walking, a wonderful 2 miles along the American River bike trail.

I ran slow, and by slow I mean SSSLLLOOWW!  Those last few pounds could be felt jiggling and there were many aches and pains that came up along the way, but I did it.  I didn't even mind that everyone was passing me (well that's not true, I did mind, but there was no way my legs were going any faster).  I'm not sure how long it took because the battery died on my GPS, but it doesn't even matter.  As George Costanza once said, "I'm back Baby!"

This morning my legs, especially my quads, were sore but it was the soreness of accomplishment.  I can't wait for my next run.  Once Baby J gets a little bigger I'll be able to take him along in the jogging stroller.  I'm excited for that day.  So here's to a great run and many more to come!

Only One?

Since I've had Baby J, the number one question I get is "So when are you having your next one?" When I respond, "Ummm, never," people look at me with a horrified expression.  They seem to be appalled by my lack of desire to procreate further.  I am then told I'll change my mind, or how could I do that to my child, or he has to have a sibling to play with.  I ask you, why?  Why is it a necessity to have more kids?  What is wrong with wanting an only child?  I'll tell you wants wrong.  Absolutely nothing!  We only want one kid.  A small little family of three.  It's a perfect number. 


Jim was an only child and I grow up in an only child type setting considering my brother and sister both went away to college by the time I was five.  We both liked this arrangement and want it for our family. When I was a kid I got to do all sorts of cool things with my parents like traveling across the country.  My brother and sister took some neat vacations too, but not like the ones I was so fortunate to go on.  All of this was made possible because there was only one of me.  I feel the travel I got to do really enriched my life and opened my eyes to a world outside of the small backwoods town I grew up in.

Jim and I want to take Baby J to all sorts of cool places.  New York, Seattle, Victoria, and Washington D.C. just to name a few.  With the way the economy is going and the rate of inflation, we wouldn't be able to do all the things we want to do with more than one kid unless we won the lottery.

In addition to wanting to do things with Baby J, I think being an only child develops the creative side of a child's brain in a special way.  When a child doesn't always have a playmate around he is forced to find ways to entertain himself.  I know I sure did.  I had imaginary friends and we would spend hours in the backyard making mud pies in my playhouse or playing school.  Even now, as I write this, I remember how much fun I had playing by myself.

Since Baby J will be in daycare he will not miss out on socializing with his peers.  He will learn the same social skills there, like conflict resolution and communication, that he would learn with a sibling.  So I am not worried about him being able to function in society.  I'm sure he will be fine.

All in all if you want to judge me for only wanting one kid, then go ahead.  It's a personal preference. As are most things in life.  Besides, we already have three cats and adding more kids would just be too chaotic. 

Worth The Wait!

Well the wait is finally over!  On October 24th I finally went into labor after a delicious lunch with my friends and a two and a half mile walk afterwards.  I like to think it was all of the laughing I did over lunch that did the trick.  After 17 hours (start to finish) I gave birth to my son James Richard on October 25, 2011 at 11:27 AM.

Now that things have kind of settled down on the home front I now have time to get back to my blog.  I'm going to be honest, this blog will mostly be about my kid going forward.  I just wanted to warn everyone in advance.

Since Baby J was born a lot has changed for me.  I knew this would happen and expected it; however, I didn't expect it to change as much as it did.  Despite everyone telling me, "Your life will never be the same once you have your first child,"it did not prepare me for how big a change it really was.

Before I gave birth I tried to imagine what my new life would be like.  I saw images of me sitting on our deck sipping tea and reading a book while my precious newborn swung peacefully in his swing next to me.  We would go on long walks in the sunshine and listen to music while playing with toys.  It was all fairytales and gumdrops.  Fast forward to reality and low and behold everything I envisioned was WRONG!

Come to find out caring for a newborn is not fairytales and gumdrops.  It's sweat, tears, and sore nipples!  Now don't get me wrong, I love being a mother in general but there are times when I have not enjoyed the experience at all.  In fact I have sobbed more than once to my poor husband saying how much I hated it at times.  Grant it there were a lot of postpartum hormones milling about in those tears but a portion of them were genuine. 


The second week was the hardest.  The novelty of having a new baby had worn off.  Jim went back to work and my nipples hurt so bad from breastfeeding I cried a bit each time I fed him.  All I seemed to be able to do was sit on the couch or bed and watch TV with a child attached to my boob.  I didn't leave the house because I was afraid Baby J might have a crying fit, or worse I might have to breastfeed him in public.  I couldn't really go for walks because I was still very sore from my labor and stitches.  All in all it was a recipe for depression.  Even though Baby J is a relatively good baby, it was still so hard for me to accept the fact life was now different.  I wanted my old life back plus a baby.  I didn't want things to change. 

Thankfully I have a supportive husband who listened to me cry everyday when he got home from work and encouraged me to join Mommy and Me at Kaiser.  I have my mom and dad who also listened to me cry over the phone more than once.  Then there are all my Facebook friends who are moms.  All of your encouragement and real world advice has kept me off the ledge more than once and I thank you all.  But I have to say the biggest support of all has been my cousin, Ashley.  She had her baby 12 days before I did and our constant messages back and forth have been an absolute lifesaver!  It seems like we are going through the same things at the same time and it helps to know I'm not alone when the going gets tough.

Things are much better now in the Young household.  I no longer cry everyday and have learned to adapt to my new wonderful life as a mom.  I have even learned caring for a newborn can have a few gumdrops.  Right now I am sitting at the kitchen table typing, drinking hot coco while Baby J sleeps in his swing across the living room.  All in all it was worth the wait.