A Plethora of Thoughts

The First Week

2012-01-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Well I survived my first week back at work. It was nice to see everyone but I missed being at home a lot. The first day was the worst, as I knew it would be. I woke up and felt completely lost. It felt like the first week home from the hospital. I didn't know what to do first or how I should proceed with the morning. Baby J was still sleeping so I tried to get everything done before he woke up then I could just feed him and go. To top off all the confusion I was crying nonstop so every few minutes I had to go and get a tissue.

Baby J wound up not waking up on his own so I had to help. This only made me feel worse because I was really messing with his routine and there was nothing I could do about it. I fed him, burped him and put him in the car seat. Thankfully he didn't cry like he normally does when being strapped in because I was already a basket case and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it if he had.

The weather matched my mood that day as it was pouring down rain as I put him in the car. It didn't bother him though, he was smiling and talking the whole way to daycare. When we got there Michelle was waiting. She asked how I was doing and I just burst into tears. Seriously I don't think I have cried that much in a long time. We had a brief discussion about when he woke up and when he last ate. I handed over his diaper bag and finally Baby J and I walked out the door.

My heart ached as I drove to work. I was super early so I sat in the parking lot and called my mom. Her and my dad both reassured me that I would survive, which of course I did. When I walked into work my manager, Ginny, had a "Welcome Back" balloon, a vase of Stargazer lilies and a box of bagels waiting for me. It was a wonderful surprise and made coming back to work a little easier. She also allowed me all the time I needed to organize my new teller window and get back into the groove. It was nice not to feel rushed right back into the job.

In addition to remembering how to do my job I also had to adjust to the new routine of pumping twice a day. It was awkward at first but by the end of the week I was a pro at setting everything up and doing what needed to be done. I'm also pleased that I have been able to pump enough milk for him to drink during the day so that I haven't had to dip into my stash in the freezer. I was concerned about my milk supply crashing since I wasn't with Baby J all day, another worry to add to the others.

Throughout the day Michelle periodically sent me text messages as to how Baby J was doing. All in all he did great all week. The only issue we ran into was his napping. He stopped taking his normal two long naps and only had a few cat naps. I'm not sure what that is about. This led to him being unbearably cranky all evening long and not sleeping as well as he had during the night. I'm hoping this will change this week and he will go back to napping. He also might be teething and that could be why he isn't sleeping. Last night was the worst of it. He was up every hour from 11:30 pm on. Needless to say I'm pretty tired today.

On Thursday my mom watched him and they had a blast going to Mommy and Me and then to Costco. In the afternoon they went for a walk. On Friday Jim's mom sat with him. It is nice to know I have our parents to look after him two days a week. They both come to our house so Baby J gets to keep some of the same routine that we had before I went back to work.

I still wish more than anything that I could go back to staying at home with him. I miss him like crazy while I'm at work and can't wait to get home every night. Maybe one day I'll get my wish to stay home but for now I'm just thankful he is in good hands while I'm away.

Reliving My Childhood

2012-01-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

So it all started with scouring thrift stores for children's books. And not just any children's books, ones I read as a kid but didn't already own. As I looked though each title I would get all giddy and feel a warm tingle come over me when I would discover one of those books. I would buy it and bring it home to read to Baby J and a flood of childhood memories would wash over me. I then became slightly obsessed with rediscovering my childhood.

I went back through all the books I had saved from when I was young and read them again to Baby J. I picked all my favorites like We Help Mommy, Bobby's New Clothes, Ox Cart Man, and Miss Rumphius, just to name a few. My mom and dad must have read these to me a thousand times. To this day my mom still can't read Bobby's New Clothes.

After I explored the books, I pulled out my Teddy Ruxpin and Grubby. I LOVED these as a kid but the one thing I remember is they both took four C batteries and batteries were expensive so once they died I had to wait until I could scrounge up eight more before I could play with them again. My favorite story was Uncle Grubby, it was the pink tape. Teddy and Grubby find some Fob eggs so Grubby sits on them until they hatch. Such a heart warming story don't you think. Beats the heck out of me why it was my favorite. I feel so warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

This morning I went on YouTube and found a bunch of Reading Rainbow episodes. Oh my life is complete now. Reading Rainbow as one of my favorite shows. After watching six episodes I had to tear myself away from the TV or I would have been there all day. But then Baby J woke up and needed to be fed so I justified watching one more. Yes the show was rather corny at times, but I still love it after all these years. The skits, the stories, the trips to different places, all of it. I think it's almost more fun to watch now because I've been to some of the places on the show and it reminded me of those trips. Like the episode where Levar Burton goes to Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts or the San Diego Zoo. You can really tell the show was from the eighties by the clothing. There is one episode where everyone is wearing sweat bands, leotards over tights and leg warmers while practicing a dance routine. It was classic.

I still have more to do in terms of rediscovering my early childhood. I have a lot of Fischer Price Little People toys at my parents house I need to pull out and play with. I'm not sure what else I have stashed there. Hopefully I saved my Light Brite. I would love to play with that right now on this rainy afternoon while drinking hot cocoa. It sounds delightful.

Baby J will get all of the things I saved. I hope he enjoys playing with my toys as much as I did. Maybe he will save them for his kids and when he pulls them out he will have the same happy memories that I have.

Back to Work Blues

2012-01-15T19:53:00.000-08:00

I've been dreading this time and hoped it wouldn't come but alas it did. This is my last week of maternity leave and the last week home with my little man. I'm already starting to tear up and I've only written two sentences. The past three months have flown by as I knew they would.

When I first went out on leave I never thought I would enjoy being a stay at home mom. I thought I would be bored and antsy to get back to work. Now, nothing could be further from the truth. I love being home with Baby J everyday. We do so much together. There is MyGym on Tuesdays and Mommy and Me on Thursdays. Morning naps at ten and afternoon walks to the park at two. In between there is smiles and laughs on the changing table and story time on the floor. I've been there for his first laugh, first smile, and the discovery of his hands. Every first I've seen and now that is all about to change. I'm going to miss the first time he rolls over, or takes his first step, or his first word. Oh man, I need a tissue.

Come next Monday I am going to have to find the strength to take and leave the most important thing in my life at daycare and I have no idea how I'm going to do it. I've been crying on and off about it for the past month. I just can't help it. It sickens me to think that a stranger will be spending more time with my son than me, his mother, and there is nothing I can do about it. In this day and age we cannot survive on one income. I've crunched the numbers and it's just not possible. I have to go back to work.

Before Baby J was born Jim started researching daycare facilities in the Folsom area. He found one that would be taking infants in January called Little Rascals. We went over and checked it out. Overall we both liked what we saw. It was very clean with a big play area both indoors and out. The owner, Michelle, has been doing daycare for the past twenty years in the bay area and recently moved up here. She runs it like a preschool and has a structured day full of arts and crafts, coloring, learning, and playing. This appealed to us because once Baby J is older he won't just be plopped in front of a TV. He will have the opportunity to learn his shapes, letters, numbers, etc.

When I last spoke to Michelle, I believe she had three kids she cared for, but could have up to six without a helper. I wasn't too keen on that. Six for one person seemed like a lot. Especially when two of them could be babies. Right now Baby J has all my attention. If he cries, I am there within a minute to attend to his needs. I never let him just lie there and cry. He feels safe and secure knowing I will take care of him when he needs it. What happens if that isn't the case once he is in daycare? What if she is busy with the other kids and can't help him for awhile? My heart breaks to think that he might be crying for his mama and I am not there. He doesn't understand that I have to work and that's why this stranger is looking after him.

I'm trying to see the silver lining but it's so hard. The negatives outweigh the positives at this point. I never thought it would be this hard. Thankfully he will only be spending three days a week at daycare and then my mom and Jim's mom will be watching him the other two days. At least I know he will be well taken care of two days a week. They will take him for walks to the park and read him stories and give him much of the same routine that I do. I find a little peace in knowing that.

I will miss everything that we have now. I will miss the new friends that I have made. I will miss looking into his room while he naps peacefully in his crib with his little arms up over his head. I'll miss our conversations on the changing table and the smiles he gives me while jumping in his bouncer. I will miss snapping pictures and texting them to Daddy giving updates of what's going on at home. But most of all I will miss just being with my little boy all day long.

Baby J's Library

2012-01-10T12:02:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows how much I have love reading. As a child I read and was read to constantly. I remember being at K-mart with my parents more than once begging them to buy me a book. My argument was it wasn't a toy but an educational purchase. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't and I was told I could use my allowance to buy it myself. When I was young my favorite series was the Berenstein Bears. As a grew up I read everything by Judy Blume, Beverly Cleary, Roald Dahl and The Sweet Valley Twins series. One year for my birthday my uncle sent me a $50 gift certificate to Waldens Books. You would have thought he gave me a million dollars I was so excited. That very weekend I made my parents drive me to the mall so I could spend it. I bought like ten Sweet Valley Twin books (all of which I still have).

When I was in college I babysat for the coolest family in the world! They had a 2 year old daughter who I absolutely adored and I spent many hours reading to her. After I graduated I stayed in contact with them and every year for her birthday I send her a book that I loved as a kid. She now has a little brother and I send him one too. It is always so much fun to pick which ones I'm going to send. Both kids are avid readers and that just tickles me pink!

Now that I have my own child I hope to pass on the love of reading to him too. The picture above is Baby J's library. He has 130 books so far. Not bad for an 11 week old kid. I'd say a little more than half of them are my books from childhood and others I've purchased from thrift stores and garage sales. The rest were given to him as baby gifts. My baby shower was a score in the book department. The best part was the variety. He got pop-up books, touch and feel, regular storybooks, counting books, interactive books and books with a puppet to go along with it. I think my favorite of all of them was the "Foodie ABC's" book from my friend Julie. That book rocks! It has things like "R is for Radicchio. I mean come on, how cool is that?

Every night Jim and I lay on the floor and read to Baby J from his library. Believe it or not he loves it! He will sit and stare at the pictures and listen to every word you say. He even fell asleep one night while we were reading to him. It has become my favorite family ritual. There is nothing better than watching your "manly husband" laying on the floor reading his son "Elmo goes to the Zoo". Makes my heart melt every time!

Time Capsule

2012-01-05T19:56:00.000-08:00

I know it's been a few weeks since my last post. I got busy with the holidays as I'm sure everyone did. Baby J had a great first Christmas. The whole family was here and I'm not gonna lie, he got a lot of awesome gifts. The two highlights being a handmade toy box made by his Grandpa David and a custom designed Muppet from his Auntie Holly. I've decided the holidays are a lot more fun with a kid, even if they are only 2 months old.

Enough about the holidays, on to the point of this post. So as you may or may not know, I am a nostalgic person. I save all sorts of stuff. Receipts from vacations, ticket stubs, pictures, etc. You should see Baby J's baby book. It's already jam packed with pictures and what not. So when I read about doing a time capsule for your kid on another blog I immediately wanted to make one too. The person in the blog made a time capsule of things from her child's 1st birthday. I, however, am going to do it with things from Baby J's first year. On his 18th birthday I will give it to him.

I have a plastic container in his closet that I can just add things to as I get them. When I have something I want to add, I write the date on it and a sentence or two as to why I'm adding it. For example, he got a little name tag that said "Hello, my name is Jim" from Red Robin. It was his first trip to a restaurant and it was a special promotion for people named James. I wrote all this on the back of the name tag and dropped it in the container. I also have a Sacramento Bee newspaper from the day he was born, a picture his cousin colored for him on his first trip to Oregon, and his first Halloween costume.

I know I will have to be selective as time goes on. This is something I can easily get carried away with. I'm not sure what else I will add. Maybe one of our favorite outfits that he wore or his first pair of shoes. Who knows. While I was pregnant I wrote to him in a journal so I will throw that in there too.

I hope he likes it when he is 18 because I know I'm going to enjoy putting it together.

Let Me See You Sweat

2011-12-20T20:29:00.000-08:00

Today Baby J is 8 weeks old. I can't believe it. Time has certainly flown by. Pretty soon I'll be carting him off to little league games but until then I'm taking him to MY GYM, a children's fitness center. I believe exercise is extremely important and I want to start Baby J off right. Today was his first visit to the gym. Every Tuesday from 12:45-1:30 babies 6 weeks to 6 months can come to the Little Bundles class for free. I learned about this at Mommy and Me. A few of the other moms take their little ones too.

The class starts off with circle time. All the babies are lying on their blankets and we sing songs to them, move their arms and legs, and do baby massage. We also dance around with them. Baby J wasn't really aware of what was going on. He preferred to look at the bright colors on the wall and ceiling. He did, however, protest quite loudly when it came to tummy time. That poor boy HATES being on his tummy. I'm not sure why but when I do flip him over on his stomach he usually hollers right away and becomes inconsolable. This concerns me because I know how important it is when it comes to crawling and muscle strength.

After tummy time comes the fun stuff, the swings. Baby J did appear to like those. They have foam discs and a foam ball that helps hold the baby in position. It worked really well. While the babies are swinging the staff of the class offers stations to demonstrate different activities to do with your child to help them learn balance, coordination and other developmental skills.

Baby J started to get really fussy at this point so I had to sit to the side and feed him. Next time I'll have to plan the feeding thing out a little better. It was obvious I had fed him too early but at least he made it though most of the class. All in all it was a lot of fun and I look forward to future classes. I also can work with him at home doing the things we learn in class. I'm hoping by the time I have to go back to work he will be able to tolerate tummy time and be a little stronger. If you are interested in learning more about MY GYM you can visit the website at www.mygym,com. I probably will not be taking him once he has to pay. It's kind of expensive and I can't really justify the cost, but in the meantime I'm cashing in on the free time!

I Love to See You Smile

2011-12-15T18:35:00.000-08:00

In the last couple weeks Baby J has started something I just can't get enough of. He smiles! And these are not the newborn "gas smiles," these are the honest to goodness "I'm the happiest boy on the planet" smiles. The first one came on November 20th. We were at my mom and dad's house for a party. Baby J was hanging out in his bouncer seat enjoying all the noise and activity when my dad walked up and started talking to him. I'm not sure what my dad said but Baby J must have liked it because he gave my dad the biggest grin I've ever seen. My dad immediately called my mom over to witness the event. Of course I wish I had been the first person for him to smile at but I guess it's fitting that my dad was the lucky one. After all he was the first person I told when I found out I was pregnant.

After he smiled for the first time, it was weeks before I saw that toothless grin again. It was early one morning and I was making funny faces and noises at him. He must have thought I was just too hilarious so he gave his mama a big ole smile. I praised him and he did it again. My heart just melted! I immediately felt this overwhelming feel of love. Nothing else mattered in the world. It was the same feeling I got when Jim told me he loved me for the first time. Sappy I know, but so true. Everything in that moment was perfect!

Now he smiles at me multiple times through out the day and I still get the same feeling every time I see one. I can't get enough of them. Everyone is as special as the first. I didn't know something as minor as a smile could make you feel so grand. One thing I'm learning about this whole motherhood thing is that it is the little things that makes it so great. That smile on the changing table, the questioning stare while getting a bath or the squirty sounding fart amidst dead silence. I eagerly look forward to his first laugh but for now I am savoring every smile as if it were the last.

It's Tradition

2011-12-11T18:39:00.001-08:00

Anyone in my family will tell you I'm a stickler for traditions. I am a firm believer in them and feel certain traditions are non-negotiable. For example, there always needs to be at least one Cadbury Egg and one Peanut Butter Egg in my Easter basket. I could care less what else, if anything, is in the basket, but those two items MUST be there. My mom forgot one year and it wasn't pretty. There also needs to be a sausage roll for Christmas breakfast. One year I had to spend Christmas without my family (it was awful) and I made my mom make a sausage roll and give it to me in advance so I could keep the tradition alive. Of course I could make one myself, but that's not the tradition, it MUST be made by my mom. She knows this and for the most part accepts it. I think she figures it's easier to just make one than argue with me.

Traditions are so important to me because they are what make up all the happy memories of my childhood. There are some traditions that we no longer do and I miss them. We use to have these big Christmas Eve parties and they were fantastic! All the family would come and friends too. My mom would make a sherbert punch and there would be REAL cheese and crackers. We would sing Christmas Carols for these old song books and later my mom would pull out a birthday cake and we would all sing Happy Birthday to Jesus. I don't remember when we stopped having those parties, but they were a blast.

Now that we have a baby I can't wait to start, and in some cases, continue traditions with him. The first one will be the giving of the Christmas ornament and tree trimming. Now I know this is nothing new and most people do it. My parents did it for us and Jim and I have been doing it for each other since we met. When I was a kid my mom would make a soup or stew, we would get to use the Christmas dishes for the first time of the season and we would get our ornaments. After we decorated the tree we would sing "O Christmas Tree." Jim and I have modified the tradition a bit. Instead of soup Jim makes a tri-tip roast and we listen to Christmas music instead of singing.

Our whole tree is filled with some pretty awesome ornaments. All of them selected for a specific reason. This year I got Jim a catfish ornament. I choose it because it looked exactly like our orange cat, Rusty, and because he used to go fishing with his Dad and Uncle to catch catfish when he was a kid. Jim got me one that celebrates our new parenthood. I used the blank heart to fill in Baby J's birth stats. Together we got Baby J the little penguin ornament. People had already gotten us a few Baby's first Christmas ornaments so we wanted to find something different. We picked out the little penguin because it reminded me of Happy Feet. It just seemed fitting.

Of course there will be many more traditions that we do with Baby J as he gets older and understands what is going on. I hope he will be a stickler too and demand that tradition be followed when others try to slack. I also hope it gives him many happy memories of his childhood.

Baby J Snip Snip Update

2011-12-08T19:05:00.001-08:00

Just a quick update since Baby J got his tongue snipped. Things have been WONDERFUL!!! My little man is finally a happy boy! He has gained 4 oz in 6 days (compared to the 10 oz he gained in 21 days, this is fantastic!) he also is taking in about 3 oz of milk per breastfeeding session (before he was getting .8 oz). We have really seen a great improvement in just this last week. The Zantac is helping too. He still spits up but he isn't screaming in pain anymore. I took him to the park yesterday and laid him on a blanket. He hung out for 40 minutes as content as could be while I read my book. There is no way he would have done that last week. He is also sleeping in 3-4 hour chunks at night where as it was 1-2 hours before. All in all we have a happy baby and a happy mama!

Snip, Snip

2011-12-03T16:48:00.001-08:00

The past few weeks have really been a struggle for us here in the Young household. Baby J seemed to have two modes, lightly sleeping and screaming. There was really nothing in between. Occasionally he would just hang out and stare at the wall, but not very often. He also was breastfeeding every one to two hours. I was up at least three times a night feeding him. This was getting exhausting. It was apparent he was not a happy baby. The evenings were the worse. He would start screaming bloody murder and nothing seemed to calm him down. If I tried to hold him he would scream even harder. Now keep in mind this was not a colicky scream this was a some thing is hurting me cry, but I didn't know what. I would sit in the chair trying to comfort him with tears streaming down my face because my own child didn't want to be with me and I couldn't make him feel better. It was such an awful feeling. I truly felt he did not like me.

In addition to all of that, he decided he didn't want to go to sleep at night either. I would start putting him to bed at 8pm and he wouldn't fall asleep until well after midnight after I would put him in his bouncy chair in the living room and sleep on the couch. There were a few nights I had to change his diaper and he would just scream and kick, making it nearly impossible to get him re-dressed. I was so frustrated I remember telling him I was done and didn't like him at that time, then he peed on me. Awful, I know, but I was functioning on no sleep, frustrated as all get out and angry that my kid was so ungrateful for all I was trying to do for him. Of course I didn't mean the things I said and I did still like him.

On Thursday I went to my Mommy and Me group. It is a support group of new moms offered through Kaiser. Let me tell you, that group of ladies has been a lifesaver. Every week I go with a hundred questions and this week was no exception. I was explaining what was going on and getting some advice. After awhile I asked if I could weigh Baby J since it had been three weeks since his last weight check and I was curious to see how many pounds he had gained. I weighed him and was shocked to discover he had only gained 10 ounces in three weeks. He should have gained at least double that. Kristen, the Mommy and Me coordinator, asked to see his tongue after seeing his lack of weight gain. She determined in a matter of seconds that Baby J was tongue tied.

Under the tongue we all have a whitish vertical strip of tissue called the frenulum, which attaches to the floor of our mouth at one end to the tongue at the other. When the frenulum is tight, it can prevent the baby from getting his tongue well forward to cup under the breast and extract milk. Oh my gosh. No wonder my baby was screaming all the time. He wasn't getting enough to eat. It was all beginning to make sense. When I would let him feed for 40 minutes I just assumed he was filling up with milk and could not understand why he would be hungry thirty minutes later. Now I knew.

The next day I took him to his pediatrician. The doctor gave us a prescription for Zantac to help with his acid reflux and continuous spit up. He also sent us with a referral to the head and neck specialist to see about having his frenulum snipped.

Later in the afternoon we met with the specialist, Dr. Doctor (no joking that was his name). He decided it would be a good idea to snip it. It is an extremely simple procedure that takes less than a second and rarely causes the baby pain. There is only a drop or two of blood and immediately after the snip I began breastfeeding him and he fell right to sleep. The worse part was having to hold him down and hearing him scream because of that.

I noticed a difference right away. His latch was 100 times better and he stopped crying all the time. He also began feeding every 3-4 hours. After Jim gave him his bottle last night and laid him in his crib he went to sleep with no crying. In the morning I gave him a bottle and then we snuggled in bed, something I hadn't been able to do since his first week home. It was wonderful. He has been calm and content all day. He even smiled for the next door neighbor. I can't tell you how great it is to finally have a happy baby. I hope it lasts and this isn't just a one day fluke but I don't think it is.

I guess my baby is just like me, give him food and he's a happy boy!

A Triumphant Return

2011-11-28T18:42:00.001-08:00

The photo above is when I was in the best shape of my life. It was two years ago and I had just finished a ten mile run along the Embarcadero in San Francisco. Since I got pregnant at the beginning of the year, my running and fitness have kind of taken a hiatus. I did walk quite a bit during my pregnancy, but let's face it, walking isn't the same as running.

It was really difficult for me to accept that I would not be running for awhile. I would past people jogging on the bike path and I wanted to yell out to them, "I'm a runner too, I just have to walk right now." I know it made no difference to these people what I was doing, but to me I felt walking made me look as though I was too out of shape to run. I struggled with this for many months. Running was a huge part of my life and now that piece was temporarily missing. Combine that with my expanding waistline and the scale numbers rapidly increasing and you get one sad chick-a-dee!

Every so often I would try a slow jog, but I was never able to go very long. As I got bigger the baby pushed up on my lungs and the extra weight put too much pressure on my joints. I slowly watched the muscle definition in my legs turn to cellulite and finally accepted running was not an option until after the baby was born.

Well it's been almost five weeks since Baby J popped out. I thought I would be running home from the hospital that day. Once again I was wrong. Walking to the mailbox was hard enough, but running? I wasn't even close. Would I ever be able to run again? And what would it be like when I was able to return to it?

Yesterday I got my answers. I went for my first real run in almost a year and it was FANTASTIC! Now keep in mind it wasn't the get up and go I use to do. Before heading out the door I had to pump because Jim needed something to feed the baby when he woke up from his nap, and I didn't need to experience running down the road with two engorged boobs. I also had to put on an extra sports bra for that now needed support. Despite the minor inconveniences, I was able to run, without walking, a wonderful 2 miles along the American River bike trail.

I ran slow, and by slow I mean SSSLLLOOWW! Those last few pounds could be felt jiggling and there were many aches and pains that came up along the way, but I did it. I didn't even mind that everyone was passing me (well that's not true, I did mind, but there was no way my legs were going any faster). I'm not sure how long it took because the battery died on my GPS, but it doesn't even matter. As George Costanza once said, "I'm back Baby!"

This morning my legs, especially my quads, were sore but it was the soreness of accomplishment. I can't wait for my next run. Once Baby J gets a little bigger I'll be able to take him along in the jogging stroller. I'm excited for that day. So here's to a great run and many more to come!

Only One?

2011-11-22T20:34:00.001-08:00

Since I've had Baby J, the number one question I get is "So when are you having your next one?" When I respond, "Ummm, never," people look at me with a horrified expression. They seem to be appalled by my lack of desire to procreate further. I am then told I'll change my mind, or how could I do that to my child, or he has to have a sibling to play with. I ask you, why? Why is it a necessity to have more kids? What is wrong with wanting an only child? I'll tell you wants wrong. Absolutely nothing! We only want one kid. A small little family of three. It's a perfect number.

Jim was an only child and I grow up in an only child type setting considering my brother and sister both went away to college by the time I was five. We both liked this arrangement and want it for our family. When I was a kid I got to do all sorts of cool things with my parents like traveling across the country. My brother and sister took some neat vacations too, but not like the ones I was so fortunate to go on. All of this was made possible because there was only one of me. I feel the travel I got to do really enriched my life and opened my eyes to a world outside of the small backwoods town I grew up in.

Jim and I want to take Baby J to all sorts of cool places. New York, Seattle, Victoria, and Washington D.C. just to name a few. With the way the economy is going and the rate of inflation, we wouldn't be able to do all the things we want to do with more than one kid unless we won the lottery.

In addition to wanting to do things with Baby J, I think being an only child develops the creative side of a child's brain in a special way. When a child doesn't always have a playmate around he is forced to find ways to entertain himself. I know I sure did. I had imaginary friends and we would spend hours in the backyard making mud pies in my playhouse or playing school. Even now, as I write this, I remember how much fun I had playing by myself.

Since Baby J will be in daycare he will not miss out on socializing with his peers. He will learn the same social skills there, like conflict resolution and communication, that he would learn with a sibling. So I am not worried about him being able to function in society. I'm sure he will be fine.

All in all if you want to judge me for only wanting one kid, then go ahead. It's a personal preference. As are most things in life. Besides, we already have three cats and adding more kids would just be too chaotic.

Worth The Wait!

2011-11-19T10:21:00.001-08:00

Well the wait is finally over! On October 24th I finally went into labor after a delicious lunch with my friends and a two and a half mile walk afterwards. I like to think it was all of the laughing I did over lunch that did the trick. After 17 hours (start to finish) I gave birth to my son James Richard on October 25, 2011 at 11:27 AM.

Now that things have kind of settled down on the home front I now have time to get back to my blog. I'm going to be honest, this blog will mostly be about my kid going forward. I just wanted to warn everyone in advance.

Since Baby J was born a lot has changed for me. I knew this would happen and expected it; however, I didn't expect it to change as much as it did. Despite everyone telling me, "Your life will never be the same once you have your first child,"it did not prepare me for how big a change it really was.

Before I gave birth I tried to imagine what my new life would be like. I saw images of me sitting on our deck sipping tea and reading a book while my precious newborn swung peacefully in his swing next to me. We would go on long walks in the sunshine and listen to music while playing with toys. It was all fairytales and gumdrops. Fast forward to reality and low and behold everything I envisioned was WRONG!

Come to find out caring for a newborn is not fairytales and gumdrops. It's sweat, tears, and sore nipples! Now don't get me wrong, I love being a mother in general but there are times when I have not enjoyed the experience at all. In fact I have sobbed more than once to my poor husband saying how much I hated it at times. Grant it there were a lot of postpartum hormones milling about in those tears but a portion of them were genuine.

The second week was the hardest. The novelty of having a new baby had worn off. Jim went back to work and my nipples hurt so bad from breastfeeding I cried a bit each time I fed him. All I seemed to be able to do was sit on the couch or bed and watch TV with a child attached to my boob. I didn't leave the house because I was afraid Baby J might have a crying fit, or worse I might have to breastfeed him in public. I couldn't really go for walks because I was still very sore from my labor and stitches. All in all it was a recipe for depression. Even though Baby J is a relatively good baby, it was still so hard for me to accept the fact life was now different. I wanted my old life back plus a baby. I didn't want things to change.

Thankfully I have a supportive husband who listened to me cry everyday when he got home from work and encouraged me to join Mommy and Me at Kaiser. I have my mom and dad who also listened to me cry over the phone more than once. Then there are all my Facebook friends who are moms. All of your encouragement and real world advice has kept me off the ledge more than once and I thank you all. But I have to say the biggest support of all has been my cousin, Ashley. She had her baby 12 days before I did and our constant messages back and forth have been an absolute lifesaver! It seems like we are going through the same things at the same time and it helps to know I'm not alone when the going gets tough.

Things are much better now in the Young household. I no longer cry everyday and have learned to adapt to my new wonderful life as a mom. I have even learned caring for a newborn can have a few gumdrops. Right now I am sitting at the kitchen table typing, drinking hot coco while Baby J sleeps in his swing across the living room. All in all it was worth the wait.

Is Today the Day?

2011-10-21T09:54:00.000-07:00

I've struggled with a lot of things over the years. Most of them are pretty common. My weight, my job, my relationships, just to name a few. Right now my biggest struggle is with waiting. For anyone who doesn't know, and I doubt there are many, I'm having a baby. He is due in two days. October 23, 2011 is supposedly the day he will make his grand entrance into the world. That is if he falls into the 5% of babies who actually come on their due date. I feel like this whole pregnancy process has been nothing but a big wait. First it was waiting for the test results to come back to see if I was indeed pregnant. Then there was the wait until the first doctor's appointment to have an ultrasound, giving me my first inside look at the little alien growing inside.

Next came the waiting out of the first trimester, that in itself was quite the feat. Most people are about six to seven weeks along before they find out a baby is coming. I was three. This fact made the wait feel so much longer. When I finally made it past the first trimester milestone I was forced to wait once again for the 20 week mark to find out what we were having. God bless modern technology for allowing us to at least find out the sex. If I had to wait nine months for that I would have driven myself more insane than I already did.

Waiting got a little easier once I found out we were having a boy. I now could focus my attention on coming up with a theme for the nursery. My days began to fill with vacations, decorating, planning and various other activities. This was a pleasant distraction while I waited for the day of my baby shower. Once that day passed it was time to wait until the first day of my maternity leave. That started 2 weeks ago. Now all I can do is wait for the big day.

Everything is ready for Baby J's arrival. The nursery has been complete for almost 2 months. I have cooked more meals in advance than I can count and frozen for those first few weeks after we come home from the hospital. My house has been scrubbed from top to bottom. Hospital bags are packed, awaiting the day they are loaded into the car for the big adventure. I have a rockin birthing playlist loaded onto two separate iPods in event of a malfunction. An entire cloth bag of various snacks sits patiently on the freezer waiting to provide Jim and my mom with the much needed nourishment during labor. The car seats are installed. All in all I would say I'm ready for this major change in my life to occur. But alas I must wait, and this is by far the hardest wait of all!

Valentine's Day Cooking Class

2010-02-13T16:42:00.001-08:00

So I know I have been away for awhile, but I'm back! I vow to blog at least twice a week for the next year.
Anywhoo, this morning I took the most wonderful cooking class at the Sacramento Co-op. It was Valentine's chocolate desserts. My sister-in-law took it too and we had an absolute blast. I had never taken a cooking class before so I wasn't sure what to expect. It turned out to be a mixture of lecture, demonstrations, and hands-on cooking. To start, our instructor, Jill, demonstrated how to make a truffle filling. She went into detail about the various ways to select chocolate, melt it and work with it. While we waited for the mixture to melt, she told us about the origins of chocolate and how it is processed. She also passed around various types of chocolate for us to sample and compare.
Next she demonstrated the chocolate cake recipe while we sipped hot chocolate and ate cherry chocolate scones. At this point I was starting to feel a little icky. It was a lot of chocolate to be sampling at 10:30 am. The Chocolate Pot de Creme demonstration was next and of course we got to sample that too.
Then the fun part came. We each got to hand roll five truffles, dip them in chocolate, and take them home. It was nice and messy and in the end, mine turned out pretty well.
After the truffles, came the making of the chocolate cherry scones. This we did as a table. We each took turns pouring in the ingredients, mixing, and preparing the scones for baking. Once they were done we each took one home.
As if that wasn't enough, we then each frosted a chocolate cupcake with chocolate ganache frosting and decorated it. Oh we also got a glass of sparkling wine, because even though it was only noon, it was 5 o'clock somewhere!
Finally, we decorated our boxes to take home all our treats. It was a great class and I can't wait to take another one!

A New Recipe

2009-08-05T17:59:00.000-07:00

I have been watching too much Food Network lately. The last week I have really been into creating my own recipes. Tonight I think I came up with a big winner. We have a ton of tomatoes and cucumbers in our garden so I have been focusing on using these ingredients in my recipes. When I asked Jim what he wanted for dinner he said his only request was that it was something light. I said okay and went to work on my creation. This is what I came up with and it was quite yummy if I do say so myself:

Eggplant Quinoa Salad

This is a perfect summer time meal or something to take to a potluck. It cooks up quickly with minimal effort. Please keep in mind these measurements are just guidelines. I don't really measure anything when I cook, I just go by taste.

Ingredients:

1 eggplant, cubed and sweated*

4 small red tomatoes seeded and chopped

1/2 c. yellow cherry tomatoes chopped

1/2 small yellow onion, chopped

2-3 lemon cucumbers, chopped

1 can chicken broth

1c. quinoa

1/2 c. mozzarella cheese cut into small cubes

1/2 c. fresh basil, chopped

1/2 tbsp parsley

1 tsp garlic salt

*to sweat the eggplant, place cubes in a colander and pour salt all over the cubes. Let sit for 20-30 mins. The salt will draw the water out of the eggplant so it doesn't come out tasting mushy when it is cooked. After the eggplant has sweated, rinse thoroughly with water to remove the salt. Lightly dry on a paper towel.

In a large skillet heat 2 or 3 tbsp of olive oil and saute the eggplant until cooked. Once cooked, sprinkle with parsley, garlic salt, and pepper. Let sit.

While eggplant is cooking, pour chicken broth into a sauce pan and bring to a boil. Once boiling, add quinoa, turn heat to low, and simmer for 10-15 minutes. Let cool.

Mix cooked eggplant, tomatoes, onion, cucumber, and cooled quinoa in a large bowl. Add cheese and basil and mix thoroughly. Serve immediately or refrigerate until later.

Corn is Born!

2009-06-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

I know I am totally obsessed with my corn. But I can't help it. It is so fun to grow and it seems like it grows a foot a day. We now have 5 ears growing. I was so excited when I saw the first one that I called Jim in Vegas to share the news. I can't wait to taste it.

The Corn is Huge: A Veggie Update

2009-06-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how big our corn has gotten in such a short amount of time. It is taller than I am! Our tomatoes are also almost as tall as me. I'm not sure what Jim did different this year, but our garden is going to produce a lot of veggies. The peppers are of to a slow start, but that is to be expected because the weather has been cool for this time of year. Once it starts to heat up the peppers will take off. I can't wait until I can start eating things. There are tons of green tomatoes that I'm just waiting to turn red.

Review: Drood

2009-06-17T21:30:00.001-07:00

The Spring reading challenge is coming to a close. Saturday is the last day. I finished my ninth book a few days ago. "Drood," by Dan Simmons, was one of the most interesting books I have ever read. It was a historical mystery about the last five years of Charles Dickens; however, it is not written from his perspective. It is written from the view of his real-life collaborator and friend, Wilkie Collins and really, I would say the book is more about Wilkie's life. I'm not quite sure how to talk about this book. Even though it was a slow paced book, I was still intrigued to continue on. Well reading, I often found myself getting on Wikipedia to look up facts from the book. Wilkie Collins was an author too, and makes reference to his novels and plays in "Drood." One of his more popular stories was "The Moonstone." I want to read this if I can find it at the library. I'm sorry that this isn't the best review, it's just so hard to describe it. I would recommend it though. Don't be scared by it's length (771 pages). It was wroth the time.

I going to try and finish one more book before Saturday if I can. It is a biography about Robert E. Lee. Jim got me interested in him while we were on our vacation. I was lucky enough to go in his home when we visited Arlington Cemetery a few weeks ago and he seemed like an intriguing individual. Once I finish that book, I am going to read a biography on Abraham Lincoln. I'm really into history right now. I hope to find a book on Thomas Jefferson so I can learn more about him.

Where is Cali?

2009-06-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Calicoon is one of our unofficial backyard cats and Rusty's girlfriend. I don't remember when she started hanging around, nor do I know where she came from. My thought is that she lived with a family whose home foreclosed and they left her behind when they moved. Who knows. Anyway, she's the most loving kitty who adores lying on your chest while you attempt to read a book on the lawn chair. She usually greets me each morning when I step outside to go for my run, especially if her food dish is empty.

To my knowledge she doesn't usually leave our backyard and she will defend her space when another neighborhood cat ventures in. This afternoon I was looking at our garden when I noticed there was a ton of cat lying on the grass. There where huge clumps everywhere. I'm assuming it belongs to Cali because she is the only long haired cat that comes around. Jim and I looked all over the backyard, front yard, and alley trying to find her. So far we have not had any luck. I hope she is okay. My fear is that she is hurt somewhere and can't move. I saw two of the other cats who tend to come around and neither one of them looked like they had been in a fight. So who knows, I just hope she comes around soon, or if she is hurt, that I find her.

Vacation: Our Cottage

2009-06-02T07:09:00.000-07:00

Well we made it to Williamsburg last night. We are staying at Kings Creek Plantation. This place is awesome and so cheap. We have our 1 bedroom cottage with its own private deck (that's where I'm typing this), a full kitchen, laundry, and best of all, a jacuzzi tub. For those of you who don't know, I live for getting a room with a jacuzzi tub! Jim kept telling me there wasn't one but I knew he was wrong. All of the places here have them. We got in at about 11:30 PM last night and that was the first thing I did, get in the tub. Jim watched the tonight show and I took a bath. Let me tell you, it felt great to relax after our long and delayed flight.

This morning we went for a little walk around the property before breakfast. It's about 10am and it's already warm and humid. We are going to go and visit Jamestown today. Tomorrow we are going to Busch Gardens. This should be a fun trip. I'm looking forward to relaxing this first few days. Once we head back to D.C. the days are going to be long and actioned packed.