The First Week

Well I survived my first week back at work.  It was nice to see everyone but I missed being at home a lot.  The first day was the worst, as I knew it would be.  I woke up and felt completely lost.  It felt like the first week home from the hospital.  I didn't know what to do first or how I should proceed with the morning.   Baby J was still sleeping so I tried to get everything done before he woke up then I could just feed him and go.  To top off all the confusion I was crying nonstop so every few minutes I had to go and get a tissue. 

Baby J wound up not waking up on his own so I had to help.  This only made me feel worse because I was really messing with his routine and there was nothing I could do about it.  I fed him, burped him and put him in the car seat.  Thankfully he didn't cry like he normally does when being strapped in because I was already a basket case and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made it if he had. 

The weather matched my mood that day as it was pouring down rain as I put him in the car.  It didn't bother him though, he was smiling and talking the whole way to daycare.  When we got there Michelle was waiting.  She asked how I was doing and I just burst into tears.  Seriously I don't think I have cried that much in a long time.  We had a brief discussion about when he woke up and when he last ate.  I handed over his diaper bag and finally Baby J and I walked out the door. 

My heart ached as I drove to work.  I was super early so I sat in the parking lot and called my mom.  Her and my dad both reassured me that I would survive, which of course I did.  When I walked into work my manager, Ginny, had a "Welcome Back" balloon, a vase of Stargazer lilies and a box of bagels waiting for me.  It was a wonderful surprise and made coming back to work a little easier.  She also allowed me all the time I needed to organize my new teller window and get back into the groove.  It was nice not to feel rushed right back into the job.

In addition to remembering how to do my job I also had to adjust to the new routine of pumping twice a day.  It was awkward at first but by the end of the week I was a pro at setting everything up and doing what needed to be done.  I'm also pleased that I have been able to pump enough milk for him to drink during the day so that I haven't had to dip into my stash in the freezer.  I was concerned about my milk supply crashing since I wasn't with Baby J all day, another worry to add to the others.

Throughout the day Michelle periodically sent me text messages as to how Baby J was doing.   All in all he did great all week.  The only issue we ran into was his napping.  He stopped taking his normal two long naps and only had a few cat naps.  I'm not sure what that is about.  This led to him being unbearably cranky all evening long and not sleeping as well as he had during the night.  I'm hoping this will change this week and he will go back to napping.  He also might be teething and that could be why he isn't sleeping.  Last night was the worst of it.  He was up every hour from 11:30 pm on.  Needless to say I'm pretty tired today.

On Thursday my mom watched him and they had a blast going to Mommy and Me and then to Costco.  In the afternoon they went for a walk.  On Friday Jim's mom sat with him.  It is nice to know I have our parents to look after him two days a week.  They both come to our house so Baby J gets to keep some of the same routine that we had before I went back to work.

I still wish more than anything that I could go back to staying at home with him.  I miss him like crazy while I'm at work and can't wait to get home every night.  Maybe one day I'll get my wish to stay home but for now I'm just thankful he is in good hands while I'm away.

Reliving My Childhood

 

So it all started with scouring thrift stores for children's books.  And not just any children's books, ones I read as a kid but didn't already own.  As I looked though each title I would get all giddy and feel a warm tingle come over me when I would discover one of those books.  I would buy it and bring it home to read to Baby J and a flood of childhood memories would wash over me.  I then became slightly obsessed with rediscovering my childhood.

I went back through all the books I had saved from when I was young and read them again to Baby J.  I picked all my favorites like We Help Mommy, Bobby's New Clothes, Ox Cart Man, and Miss Rumphius, just to name a few.  My mom and dad must have read these to me a thousand times.  To this day my mom still can't read Bobby's New Clothes.

After I explored the books, I pulled out my Teddy Ruxpin and Grubby.  I LOVED these as a kid but the one thing I remember is they both took four C batteries and batteries were expensive so once they died I had to wait until I could scrounge up eight more before I could play with them again.  My favorite story was Uncle Grubby, it was the pink tape.  Teddy and Grubby find some Fob eggs so Grubby sits on them until they hatch.  Such a heart warming story don't you think.  Beats the heck out of me why it was my favorite.  I feel so warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

This morning I went on YouTube and found a bunch of Reading Rainbow episodes.  Oh my life is complete now.  Reading Rainbow as one of my favorite shows.  After watching six episodes I had to tear myself away from the TV or I would have been there all day.  But then Baby J woke up and needed to be fed so I justified watching one more.  Yes the show was rather corny at times, but I still love it after all these years.  The skits, the stories, the trips to different places, all of it.  I think it's almost more fun to watch now because I've been to some of the places on the show and it reminded me of those trips.  Like the episode where Levar Burton goes to Old Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts or the San Diego Zoo.  You can really tell the show was from the eighties by the clothing.  There is one episode where everyone is wearing sweat bands, leotards over tights and leg warmers while practicing a dance routine.  It was classic.

I still have more to do in terms of rediscovering my early childhood.  I have a lot of Fischer Price Little People toys at my parents house I need to pull out and play with.  I'm not sure what else I have stashed there.  Hopefully I saved my Light Brite.  I would love to play with that right now on this rainy afternoon while drinking hot cocoa.  It sounds delightful.

Baby J will get all of the things I saved.  I hope he enjoys playing with my toys as much as I did.  Maybe he will save them for his kids and when he pulls them out he will have the same happy memories that I have.